I wish I were more turtle-like — vulnerably slow, yet quick to savor. Because I can be such a fucking rabbit sometimes.
Savoring life is not a strength of mine. Far from it, actually. I’m always on the go. I’m always looking to the next thing or focused on the next destination.
Being “on the go” goes way beyond the season of life I’m in, though I hate to admit it. I can’t blame my busy-ness on everything, you know. So what if I work, go to school, and intern sixteen hours a week? This craziness just gives me more opportunities to savor in my life. It’s no secret that I feel pretty much done with grad school. Boo-effing-hoo! Should I choose to not savor this season of my life — a season I will never get back — because I’m a little sleepy and sick of reading text books? Maybe…but that doesn’t seem healthy to me.
How exactly does one slow down and savor her current situation, in spite of its inconveniences and challenges? Damned if I know. But I kinda wanna figure it out. The good shit the comes from savoring a moment seems worth it. I want to learn how to savor my work, my play, my singleness, my relationships, my happiness, my loneliness, and everything in between. I’d like to be able to say: “mmmm…this is good” instead of “hmmm…I think that was good…”
I wanna stop missing shit. I wanna stop complaining. I want contentment. I want satisfaction.
Perhaps that’s why I wore green today. To channel my inner turtle.